{"id":744,"date":"2014-11-25T12:02:37","date_gmt":"2014-11-25T20:02:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.thinkapps.com\/?p=744"},"modified":"2014-11-25T14:36:42","modified_gmt":"2014-11-25T22:36:42","slug":"confessions-product-manager-impostor-syndrome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thinkapps.com\/blog\/development\/confessions-product-manager-impostor-syndrome\/","title":{"rendered":"Confessions of a PM: 7 Ways to Disarm the Impostor Syndrome"},"content":{"rendered":"

No one ever admits they have the Impostor Syndrome<\/a> when they are going through it. Like most mental battles, you\u2019re in denial when it is happening. It\u2019s something others can see in you, but to which you yourself are blind. Why? Because the crux of the Impostor Syndrome is believing that you are less deserving, less competent, less worthy than anyone else. If you are the problem, why rat yourself out?<\/p>\n

\"Mark<\/a><\/p>\n

Impostor Syndrome is a slow and insidious force. It grows slowly, one doubt at a time, accumulates and compounds like debt, and creeps up on you when you least expect it. It usually emanates from a little voice that say \u201cYou\u2019re not good enough.\u201d The inner critic. You can feel its onset like a panic attack, by the time you notice it is already too late. The same paralyzing force when you\u2019re on the cusp of awake and half dreaming, conscious yet unable to move your body.<\/p>\n

The Impostor Syndrome is real yet invisible.<\/h3>\n

For me, the Impostor Syndrome stems from a sense of feeling different. Feeling different leads to a sense of inadequacy. If you feel different enough times that feeling of not belonging is worse than a thousand paper cuts. Ellen Chisa, Product Manager at Kickstarter, wrote about how she felt different eating lunch with dads<\/a>. Something so small and innocuous can make you feel different and self-marginalized.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what being different does. It makes you aware of your actions, and that you might be imposing. It\u2019s so minor, but it adds up.\u200a\u2014\u200aEllen Chisa<\/em><\/p>\n

The narrative we tell ourselves dictates the actions we take consciously and unconsciously.<\/p>\n

I told myself a couple of narratives early on in childhood:<\/p>\n

1. I am not good at math. I like words.
\n2. Confucius sucks. I am not good enough to be the perfect Asian child.
\n3. Computer games are not for me. They are for boys.<\/p>\n

Labels become narratives and narratives become beliefs. Beliefs influence our subconscious actions. Mental barriers are often a byproduct of believing that we can\u2019t do something.<\/p>\n

I can cite countless studies corroborating the negative effects of Impostor Syndrome or Stereotype Threat<\/a>, but that won\u2019t help you. What matters is how you\u2019re going to disarm the inner critic in you. Yes, only you can unblock yourself. Here are a couple of disarming mechanisms that have helped me:<\/p>\n

1. Talk back at your inner critic<\/h2>\n

The voice of the inner critic is the chorus of all the negative opinions\u200a\u2014\u200ayour mom, old managers, exes, teachers\u200a\u2014\u200athey blend together as a cast of Debbie Downers. I try to counter every negative thought steming from insecurity and doubt with a positive one. If I think I can\u2019t do something then I try to think of an experience when I did overcome my biggest hurdles. For example, remembering that I could run long distances during crew cross-training disproved that narrative that I was a sick child with a congenital heart condition.<\/p>\n

2. Stop putting on labels<\/h2>\n

I called myself a \u201cnon-technical PM\u201d up until recently. By putting an adjective modifying my role I unwittingly second guessed myself before others could. In special education, teachers do not call children \u201cdisabled children\u201d but rather \u201cchildren with disabilities.\u201d Separate yourself from an intrinsic quality. At the end of the day, I am so much more than a \u201cnon-technical PM.\u201d My mentor Lesley helped me disarm my non-technical PM complex, debunking the Myth of the Non-technical PM<\/a>. A PM is a PM; you should not trivialize or qualify yourself.<\/p>\n

3. Leverage your strengths<\/h2>\n

The Imposter Syndrome likes to rear its head when you are struggling and feeling insecure. These situations arise when an outside stimulus taps at your weaknesses. See this as an opportunity to leverage your strengths. When I was working on a highly technical project outside of my technical breadth, I defaulted to my project management and cross-functional leadership strengths to add immediate value. In tennis, if you have a strong forehand, keep serving with a forehand instead of a backhand. Don\u2019t ever underestimate the power of your strengths. Playing by your strengths will build the confidence necessary to tackle your weaknesses. For me, that was becoming more of project manager while ramping up on all the technical knowledge I needed to feel confident in meetings.
\n<\/p>\n

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